Personal Growth: 9 Questions You Should Ask Yourself

If you want to grow, you’ve go to choose what to grow towards. You’ll need these three tools to help you reach your potential; self-awareness, honesty, and intention. Most people want an app for that, but, unfortunately, there’s no shortcut. You’ve got to do the (not so fun) work of self-reflection. If we want to grow, we’ve got to ask the tough questions. I myself have been avoiding it for the last year, but nobody wants to be a hamster on the wheel forever. Here are 9 questions you should ask yourself for personal growth.

1. What is different from last year?

Get perspective by comparing where you were a year ago versus right now. You’ll either find yourself in a new place or be shocked by how little you’ve changed. If you are disappointed because you’re not where you want to be, don’t be too hard on yourself. Change takes time. Have self-compassion as you take the small steps to move forward. Read on for tips on how.

2. Am I enjoying how I spend my time?

What are you spending too much time on? And what do you need to spend more time doing? The average person lives to about 80 years old, which means you’re probably at the 30-50% mark as you’re reading this. If you are not satisfied with how you are spending your day-to-day, stop and change what you’re doing right this moment. What is the point of being unhappy every day if you are already halfway through your life? Read on to realign your values.

3. What is the most important thing to me?

This is such a simple question but complicated to answer. Out of all the things you desire in life, what is the single most important thing to you?

Take time and really reflect on this. Grab a journal and give yourself permission to list everything out, then scribble or scratch out the priorities that you realized weren’t as important as you thought.

4. Am I living my top 5 values?

Quickly write down the top 5 things you spend the most time on. Don’t take any more than 2 minutes. And to be clear, I don’t mean what you wish you spend your time on. For example, if you want to be healthy, but never make time for fitness, it shouldn’t make your top 3. It works best if you’re really honest with yourself.

Next, make a completely separate list of the top 5 things you value most in life. Don’t take more than 3 minutes. Once again, it’s important that you’re honest with yourself. Finally, comapre the priorities of these 2 lists.

If you are like most people (myself included), your lists won’t match up. This is the problem; we waste time when our priorities don’t match our values.

Here are example lists:

5. Which 5 people do I spend the most time with?

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

– Jim Rohn
entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

You don’t become who you admire the most, you become who you are surrounded by whether you like it or not.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was becoming like the people I was forced to spend 8+ hours a day with 5 days a week. That was a scary wake-up call for me to leave my last job. Today, I remind myself to be more mindful about who I surround myself with at home, at leisure, and workplace.

Make a mental note of the 5 people you are surrounded by the most. Going down the list, ask yourself if you would want to be like them. If not, say goodbye.

6. What do I spend my money on?

Where you spend your money says a lot about what you care about. Similar to the time exercise from number 4, make a list of the top 5 things your money goes to and see if it aligns with your values.

Feeling in control of money can move you closer to your goals, but being out of control can take you away from your dreams. If you want to learn more about money, read our 10 easy money tips for beginners.

7. What do I want to learn next?

When’s the last time you did something simply because you enjoyed it? Not because it was a responsibility, or got paid, or you felt pressured to. You don’t have to limit yourself to growing in “adult” ways. You can also grow in fun ways. Things that you do purely because they bring you joy. Try something that you have been putting off learning and do so while giving yourself the permission to suck at it. We as adults are so scared to fail at things, it often takes the joy out of learning the thing. Go out today and totally suck at something new, but have a great time doing it.

8. How can I help others more?

We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.

— Winston Churchill

Time claims the secret to happiness is helping others. Are you making the time to help friends, family, and the causes you value? When you can find compassion for others, you can also find more compassion for yourself.

9. Where can I ask for help?

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new.

Barack Obama

This is the one I struggle with the most. I tell myself that I’m bothering others if I ask for help, but I’m trying to rewrite that narrative. Asking for help is the ultimate self-awareness of self, limitations, and vulnerability. Also, it builds community in knowing that others have your back and that you’ll have theirs too.

Ask yourself these questions at least once a year to check in. Personal growth is a never-ending journey; there is always a new place you can grow towards. A new you that is waiting just around the corner.

To learn more about yourself, check out these quick reads about mindfulness and self-care.